I want my epidural back : adventures in mediocre parenting / Karen Alpert

Be the best damn mediocre parent you can be -- Tell those overachieving moms to suck it -- You want to watch my child? Bwhahahahahaha!! Oh wait, you're serious -- And for dinner I gave my kids an eating disorder -- Here an orifice, there an orifice, everywhere an orifice, orifice -- I tried the crying it out method...I'm still crying -- How the F to entertain your rugrats when you have nothing to do -- My hubby is awesome (but not as awesome as me) -- Teach your douchenugget to be less douchey and more nuggety -- Aww shit, whatta you mean they grow up??

"If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo's organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book ... But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won't put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald's for a special treat but really it's because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book"--Dust jacket flap.

If you are the kind of mom who opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then you need to read this book. A celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents, Alpert's observations will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you're smart and read it there.